Bharat S. M. Karavadra

Just Keep Appreciating The Goodness of Life

Tuesday, October 13th, 2009

This post is part 6 of a conversation about “Feelings, Happiness and The Future” with someone wishing to remain anonymous but are happy for me to publish the conversation. Read Part 1.

I received the following reply to my email message.

Hi thanks for the quick response! yeh i understand what you mean i think i need to stop labeling it to and just accept it things as they come! hmm i just checked my emails today and i got a message “The Secret Scrolls – How do I stop my negative thoughts?? ” lol maybe im looking into things too much but its like all this help is coming from somewhere ..maybe because im praying for them i dont know…i feel alot better..i think its be able to express myself in my emails to you..helps me put things into perspective and im letting the negatives thoughts float around in my head..

i understand pushing my negative thoughts is only making me concentrate on them more..ive been through this in my head before..i am starting to feel positive again and only focusing on the good things in my life at the moment..its strange but ive noticed everything else just seems to disappear ..whether it be problems at uni,work or even people…i just lose contact…i like having control over my own life…i feel as im just new to this i need to keep track of what im doing and feeling more often…i will definitely be in touch more often…hope u dont mind!!

i just get stressed over small things..right now just my future i guess no point thinkinh too far ahead i will just worry myself and lose the good moments i am living right now..yep i may go to a yoga class at uni to see what it is like..or maybe read up on meditation on the internet ..i guess i have been around too many people which isnt really a bad thing but it means ive had to listen to other peoples problems and just normal uni life! i think im missing some me time again…

speak to you soon

hope all are well

My reply was as follows:

Yes, stop questioning what is happening and, as you call it, labelling it, but I hope you really know why it�s happening; it�s because you had questions and were looking for answers (whether through thoughts or prayers) and you are getting them, not only from me now but other sources such as the stranger on the street and his card, and now the email. When answers or messages come to you from whatever or whomever� that mean something to you, simply add the experience to your list of things to be grateful for and do the thanking at the end of the day or whenever you get a quality moment.

With respect to negative thoughts and feelings such as stress about something, I really need you to give me a specific example of the negative thought and feelings that you are getting so that I can give specific advice. However you seem to have the solution in yourself because you said that if you focus on the good things then everything else (the negatives) seem to disappear. So keep at it until it becomes a habit. At this point a small story may help. NASA (the space agency) created some glasses which made the world appear upside down. After about 25 to 30 days, the astronauts who wore the glasses 24 hours a day started to see the world the right way up with the upside down glasses on. However some astronauts were asked to have a 1 day break about 15 days into the test and they saw that these astronauts had to go through another 25 to 30 days of continuous wearing of the upside glasses before they could see the world the right way up with the glasses on. I think they did further tests and found that it takes about 30 days of continuous repetition for something to become �hardwired� in the brain. So keep at it.

Therefore you are relatively new to this but you do know what to do and have admitted previously that you did not do it for a while which (from what I can see) has led you �off track�. So, go back to listing the good things and appreciate them if they happened to you or admire them if they happened to others. Make it a strict daily exercise such as the one you have after waking up; brushing your teeth, having a wash, putting your clothes on, all of which may take about a half or full hour, and which may seem like a routine which does not actually do anything, but try to imagine how your day would go with un-brushed teeth, not having a wash and having no clothes on or only your sleepwear. You know when you do those things in the morning that the potential of the day going better for you is probably better than not doing them. So spend half to an hour every evening appreciating and admiring the good things of the day because by doing them you know, as you have experienced it, that life becomes better for you.

With regards to thinking about the future, the only thing I can say that the future (and the past) are only thoughts in your mind and feelings in your body. The only thing that exists is now. So if the future exists now in your mind, simply create a good future in your mind and feel the good feelings that go with it, but do not worry yourself about the future and how it�s going to be created.

Think about the questions you had in your mind before and that you were looking fort answers. The answers have come and are coming and I bet you did not know how they would come. So, the future has come and is coming. Just think and feel for a great (or whatever words that mean something for you) future and do not worry about it, but believe that it�s here and now, in you.

And yes, go to yoga classes or meditate to help you become more aware of everything in life, but more so to feel more relaxed and comfortable. The whole thing about yoga or meditation is about feeling good in yourself. So if you try these techniques and don�t feel good then find something that makes you feel good. I find it wonderful that I can shut off the rest of the world and write away on my computer to you and see the good changes in you and it makes me feel good about myself. So think about what makes you feel good and relaxed, and do it.

With regards to other people�s problems, you have not had to listen to them, but you did listen to them and gave the experiences some meaning, such as there are people with problems and you have to listen to them. It sounds as if you are taking responsibility for the problem and it is that which is causing you to have bad feelings. The problems are their�s not yours. The simplest way to solve this, which may seem harsh at first,� is to calmly listen to other people�s problems and agree with them all the way. Remember to be calm within yourself and your replies because you are simply confirm they have problems and usually it may not be possible to be calm about problems, but remember they are not your problems. You may find that such people may eventually get angry, hurt or create some other negative response and all you need to say is that you agreed with them and don�t understand why they are angry, hurt or whatever, and if they carry on then ask them what should be done to resolve the problem, but don�t take the responsibility of doing anything apart from supporting THEM in resolving their problems.

What do you mean by normal uni life? You sound as if you are bored or nor excited about uni.

And I�d be happy if you keep in touch

Sleep well.

Bharat